i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
he had hair everywhere except his balls
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize