FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Randomize