It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
