we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
