You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
