I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
