please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
