shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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