i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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