i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
