hell yes lets make some ravioli
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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