i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
