Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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