The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
