Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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