I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Randomize
