The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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