i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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