she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
