I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Naked. naked and bneed help.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
