Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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