the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
cat food counts as protein by the way
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
