just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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