i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
