Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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