I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
