it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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