when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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