Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
