ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I want to stick my p in your. b.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
My vagina is officially offended.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
