You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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