The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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