i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
