I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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