he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
