Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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