i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
