Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize