I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
he's single and there are thong briefs.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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