If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
