I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
