he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
