i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
