Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
