I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
