wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
