She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
