so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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