a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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