I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
