toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
