Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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