That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
