I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
