you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
