There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
