I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
