I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
