Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
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