Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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