Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Randomize
