she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
