She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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