I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
