I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Success! We fucked roommates!
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
