he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
pray to the hookup gods
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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