so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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