Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
