i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Drunk walkin through police station. America
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
