I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
