The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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