The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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