i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
