you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
