So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
