Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
