New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
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