I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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